What can I say...they are so rad. They are where I want to be.
These two World Cups were my first two World Cups....I went to Worlds as a junior awhile back- I was in way over my head but it lit a fire inside me and helped drive me to where I am today. I have been wanting to do World Cups for so long but I have been reluctant because they are the real deal and I don’t want to be a filler...I want to be competitive, I have been working really hard and I am pretty confident that I can be up there with those girls consistently in the near future.
This year has been a big year for me in the learning department. Lots of highs and lows.The lows are just temporary but its hard when you put in so much time and love what you are doing so much and make mistakes. Lots of hard learning. But good learning. At first those moments- they hurt so bad, I have definently shed a lot tears this year- but you are supposed to take those moments, study them, learn from them and conquer them. I had high goals for myself going into the World Cups and I think that I have even higher goals for myself after experiencing them for the first time. I am leaving them with so much drive. Racing is so difficult but I think that puzzle is finally starting to come to together for me...trial by error...
I can say straight up I went into Monte Sainte Anne with the wrong mindset. I failed before I even started practice. I let it all get the best of me- nerves, confidence, competitors...I was way too concerned with everything and everyone...so I messed up, big deal. I had like six days between MSA and Bromont to work it all out and I thought I had. I had a fresh and confident head going into Bromont, I felt like the course was made for me. I started practice pinned- I think my first couple laps were probably my fastest laps all weekend.- I just went for it, I was feeling so confident and just having a good time ripping on my bike. As practice progressed I let that self doubt creep right in. I didn’t really realize it at the time but as soon as I let that creep back in, it was pretty much game over. I was still riding well but I wasn’t riding with my usual confidence and I just started to make loads of mistakes- not because I was riding beyond my ability but because I was lacking the confidence. Hesitation means devastation.
lesson learned. the pieces are coming together....
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